something to give...

"an image flashed across my tv screen
another broken heart comes in to view
i saw the pain and i turned my back
why can't i do the things i want to?
i'm willing yet i'm so afraid
You give me strength
when i say

i want to be Your hands
i want to be Your feet
i'll go where You send me
i'll go where You send me
and i try, yeah i try
to touch the world like You touched my life
and i find my way
to be Your hands

i've abandoned every selfish thought
i've surrendered every thing i've got
You can have everything i am
and perfect everything i'm not
i'm willing, i'm not afraid
You give me strength when i say

this is the last time
i turned my back on You
from now on, i'll go so
send me where You want me to
i finally have a mission
i promise i'll complete
i don't need excuses
when i am You hands and feet"

~ "hands & feet"... audio adrenaline

The little boy in the picture is Nayrobi. He is in preschool at Josue 1:8, the school in Los Brasiles. This is the community where we spent most of our time during our stay in Nicaragua this past June. I am sponsoring Nayrobi through NRN (Nicaragua Resource Network), which is the group we went down there with.

I am so excited for the privilege to sponsor Nayrobi. See... I have been so blessed by God. No, I don't have a lot of money. But I have a home. I have a family, I have friends, I have a church, I am in school, and I have a job. I have food to eat every day and I do not have to wonder where my next meal is going to come from.

Have you ever heard of Rob Bell? Check out this little clip of one of his videos here... We watch his dvds in Sunday school sometimes, and with each one I see, I am struck again with the simplicity yet truthfulness of the message of them. They are so relevant to life; this guy shares some crucial truths that sometimes we overlook and take for granted.

How often do we really think about our food being a gift from God? Or how about our home? How easy is it to take for granted that we have clean water? So many people do not even have clean water to drink. In Nicaragua, we had to drink bottled water instead of getting it from the faucets. How often have you stepped into a cold shower and complained that you really want a warm shower?... Yet, how many people in this world have no shower? No toilet? How easy is it to complain about cleaning the bathroom??

Mr. Bell, in his video "Rich," comments on the bumper stickers saying "God bless America"... He says God has blessed America. He as so, so blessed us as Americans. And yet we look at commercials or at our neighbors or friends and see something they have that we don't have, and we begin to think that our stuff is not enough. Contentment is so important, so crucial. We cannot go about our lives wanting everything we see. Pastor Steve said this morning that biblical giving is sacrificial. We have to give up something. It is generous, not skimpy. Biblical giving sees a need and does not think twice about giving to fulfill that need.

I am sponsoring Nayrobi because I have something to give. So maybe it means I won't get the latest Newsboys cd the day it releases. But it means that this adorable little boy has clothes for school. He has good food and water. I have seen the homes in Los Brasiles firsthand... I have personally walked through them, and I can tell you that these people live in homes that consist of maybe a small bedroom and that is it. They have a hook on the wall where they can hang their couple of outfits. They don't have any television or dvd player... and even if they did, they don't have any electricity to make it work. They cook outside, and whatever food they have, they have to go and buy it daily. They don't have any refrigerator to keep it cold. When you go and walk through these homes, and these people invite you in like you're royalty... they have nothing, yet they want to share what they have with you.... it brings tears. The tears are coming to my eyes as I sit here remembering these sweet, generous people. I cannot even imagine living like they do. They have joy though, they have smiles. It is so amazing to see the poverty and the dirt, and yet see them smiling and welcoming you into their home.

I had something to give... that is also why I cut my hair in June. Sure, I was going to Nicaragua (and then to be a counselor at camp) and didn't want to deal with the length of my hair in the extreme heat and humidity... that is why I cut it when I did. But I figured somebody else needed it more than I did. It was something I could give.

I really, really encourage you to check out the video I included the link for. It is just a short clip of what is an exceptional video. Let God speak to your heart through it... please.

"salvation"...

"salvation spring up from the ground

Lord, rend the heavens and come down

seek the lost and heal the lame

Jesus bring glory to Your name

let all the prodigals run home

all of creation waits and groans

Lord, we've heard of Your great fame

Father, cause all to shout Your name

stir up our hearts, oh God

awaken our spirits to awe who You are

put a cry in us

so deep inside that we cannot find

the words we need

we just weep and cry out to You..."

~ "salvation"... chris tomlin

I first learned this song from Todd Proctor... (our worship leader at Brethren National Youth Conference since 2001). It is a beautiful cry to God to work in our hearts and lives, and all around us. "Awaken our spirits to awe who You are..." I have always loved that line. The whole song, really, but something about that line just catches something inside me and it makes the whole song perfect.

Right now I am listening to Chris Tomlin's latest cd, "See the Morning"... I've had it for over a month now, since I got a pre-release edition from his street team. I love the honesty in each of his songs. They are so real, and that is exactly what they need to be. God knows our hearts. He knows what we cannot find the words to say. He knows whether or not our hearts are truly worshipping Him.

Awaken our spirits to awe who You are, God. So that we cannot even find the words we need but instead just cry out to You in our hearts.

"stars would fall..."

I so love this song by Monk & Neagle. Yeah, okay, so it's a "love song"... See, what I love about it is the picture they paint through it. They wrote this song for their wives, just about how much they love them...

"have i told you lately
how much i think about you
the way you laugh, the way you love
the way i feel around you
the stars would fall for you
and i would die for you

have i told you lately
how much i dream about you
the way your eyes dance in the sun
the way the heavens wrap around you
and i would walk the world
to prove that i am yours

you're my angel, you're my queen
and i will give you everything
i'm crazy, i'm crazy
i've been around the world to see
that you're the only girl for me
i'm crazy, for you i'm crazy

have i told you lately
how much you mean to me
every word from your mouth
is like a drop of honey
the stars would fall for you
and i would die for you

i can barely breathe when i'm without you
i honestly believe i might die without you
you're the rhythm that my heart beats to
and i'll do anything because i love you
girl i love you"

~ "stars would fall (i'm crazy)"... monk & neagle

It is such a tenderly written song, so full of love. That is what I want... not someone to write a song for me like this, but if I eventually ever get married, I want to be so in love like in this song. To have a guy choose to love me like these guys love their wives, the way they have described in their sweet song, is true Love. To have him singing this song in his heart is so beautiful. The simplicity of it... the honesty of it...

Maybe it sounds selfish of me to say that I would want this... but I really don't think so. True Love is unselfish, and I would want to be Loved unselfishly like Monk & Neagle describe in this song. I would want to Love unselfishly also. They sing that they would do anything for their wives, and really, I think that is the way it should be. There needs to be a mutual Love like this. Like doing anything to help the other person be more of who God wants them to be. I don't want everything, I don't want somebody to give me everything... but it is the heart attitude of that that needs to be present. It is so crucial. I think one reason why so many marriages end these days is that people are so selfish.

Someday I want to hear Monk & Neagle sing this song live....

I put this on here today, not because I am aching for a "boyfriend" ~ because I'm not. But I wanted to share this song that I love, as well as my desire that "when I fall in love, it will be forever"... as Nat King Cole sings. :) "Love" is so superficial in the eyes of the world today... but that is not really Love. True Love is a choice. It is choosing to Love, even when the feeling might not be there.

Snow White sings "someday my prince will come..." For me? Maybe.. We'll see what God has planned. If it is not forever though, then it is not at all. I know that much.

"However, as it is written:

'No eye has seen,

no ear has heard,

no mind has conceived

what God has prepared

for those who love him'..."

~ 1 Corinthians 2:9

real Christianity...

Yesterday in talking with one of the guys I work with, somehow the topic of beliefs came up. I have made it very clear that I am a follower of Christ and that I let that affect my whole life. I'm not even sure anymore how the subject came up, but this guy said that most people don't want to hear about what he believes, so he doesn't usually mention it. I asked him why, and what he believes, and he told me that he is wiccan.

Oh...

Okay...

What do I say??

He had already said that he grew up in a Methodist church in his town. I ended up asking him how he got into wicca, what made him interested in it. Not just out of politeness. I really wanted to find out what on earth would make somebody turn from what they'd grown up with ~ a Methodist church, in this case ~ and go into wicca. I wanted to get a little bit of a glimpse into his mindset as to why he would even want to do this.

So we talked...

Guess what I found out.. He said most of the people in his church went there because that is just what you do on Sundays. Sunday rolls around and you go to church. He said, sure, there were some people who really meant it, and they were there a lot more and everything, but most of the people just came because going to church is what you do on Sunday. It was a routine. It was fake. I asked him, just to be sure that is what he meant.

In about 7th or 8th grade, this guy went through a major rebellion. He was miserable, and he made everybody he came in contact with miserable as well. He told me about this one night when he was in his room and he honestly debated on killing himself. He said he had a choice: "suicide or not," as he put it. He chose "not," and he said that with the choice he made came the necessity for something to change.

What he told me is pretty much that he researched a lot of religions and chose the one that he agreed with the most.

My point in telling this story is that we are in need of a change in such a major way. We are turning people off with our hypocrisy as a church. We cannot be fake. We can't be into the ritualistic church-going or rule-following.

Real Christianity is not religion. It is having a relationship with our Creator. I know that is said so much it sounds cliched, but that does not make it any less true.

When I think of religion, I think of the Pharisees in the Bible. They knew all the rules and put the emphasis on that rather than on loving and following Jesus. They were legalistic in what they did.

Hypocrisy is not attractive.

Do you know the song "My Jesus" by Todd Agnew?

"which Jesus do you follow?
which Jesus do you serve?
if ephesians says to imitate Christ
then why do you look so much like the world?

'cause my Jesus bled and died
He spent His time with thieves and liars
He loved the poor and accosted the arrogant
so which one do you want to be?

blessed are the poor in spirit --
or do we pray to be blessed with the wealth of this land
blessed are they that hunger and thirst for righteousness --
or do we ache for another taste of this world of shifting sand

'cause my Jesus bled and died for my sins
He spent His time with thieves and sluts and liars
He loved the poor and accosted the rich
so which one do you want to be?

who is this that you follow
this picture of the american dream
if Jesus was here would you walk right by on the other side --
or fall down and worship at His holy feet

pretty blue eyes and curly brown and a clear complexion
is how you see Him as He dies for your sins
but the Word says He was battered and scarred --
or did you miss that part?
sometimes i doubt we'd recognize Him

'cause my Jesus bled and died
He spent His time with thieves and the least of these
He loved the poor and accosted the comfortable
so which one do you want to be?

'cause my Jesus would never be accepted in my church
the blood and dirt on His feet might stain the carpet
but He reaches for the hurting and despises the proud
i think He'd prefer beale street to the stained glass crowd
and i know that He can hear me if i cry out loud

i want to be like my Jesus

not a posterchild for american prosperity
but like my Jesus
you see i'm tired of living for success and popularity
i want to be like my Jesus but i'm not sure what that means
to be like You Jesus
'cause You said to live like You, love like You
but then You died for me
can i be like You Jesus?
i want to be like my Jesus"

(- Todd Agnew)

Make the effort with me... please. Reach out to others... even those in our churches need to be reached out to. People outside the church are not going to want to give their lives to Christ when we look the same as they do. We have to be different. We have to shine like the moon, reflecting Christ and His love to everyone we come in contact with. We're turning people off and pushing them away with our fakeness and routine acts. We so need to put our heart into living for God. Make it real. Our world is so desperately needing us to be real.

"Be imitators of God, therefore,

as dearly loved children and live a life of love,

just as Christ loved us

and gave himself up for us

as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."

- Ephesians 5:1-2

And... pray for me, please, as I continue to work with this guy I was talking with. Pray that I will be open to whatever God leads me to say to him and that I will listen and obey.

"Devote yourselves to prayer,

being watchful and thankful.

And pray for us, too,

that God may open a door for our message,

so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ,

for which I am in chains.

Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should.

Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders;

make the most of every opportunity.

Let your conversation be always full of grace,

seasoned with salt,

so that you may know how to answer everyone."

- Colossians 4:2-6

when our ways are pleasing to God...

"When a man's ways are pleasing to the LORD,

He makes even his enemies live at peace with him."

~ Proverbs 16:7

I ran across this verse recently as I was reading my Bible, and it really caught my attention. I guess I always think of the verse in 2 Chronicles that talks about God healing a land when the people turn to Him, but although I'd read this verse in Proverbs before... it wasn't one that I remembered all that well.

When we live our lives in a way that is pleasing to God... when we obey Him and are God-conscious in whatever we do... then He is going to make even our enemies live at peace with us. An example that comes to my mind is Loving our enemies, and not repaying anyone evil for evil. (see Matthew 5 and Romans 12...) When we Love others as Christ has Loved us, and when we put others above ourselves, that is such a great example, and it reflecting Jesus to all we come in contact with. If we live so as to obey God, then people are going to notice, including our enemies, and we can have a good influence and impact in this way.

At the same time, I think this verse in Proverbs is written in such a way that we can look at it and say that... if we are living to please God, then He is going to bless that. He will bless us with living in peace with our enemies.

In reading this... I thought of how opposite it seems to be of America. And yet, it makes sense. It follows these verses perfectly. America as a whole is not a country that is living so as to obey God. So why then would we be living at peace?? Until our country becomes humble and turns to God... it is not going to get any better. We can look and read that straight from the Bible.

Keep on praying for our country, and for our leaders. It is so crucial.

"If My people,

who are called by My name,

will humble themselves

and pray and seek My face

and turn from their wicked ways,

then will I hear from heaven

and will forgive their sin

and will heal their land."

~ 2 Chronicles 7:14

what Love is...

Today at work, I was talking to one of the other girls there, and somehow through the course of the morning, it came up that she's been divorced three times. (which I had known, just from hearing her say it, but she'd not specifically told me before...) She said that when she moved from her last apartment to where she is now, she left whatever she couldn't lift herself, because her family would not help her. I just found it all incredibly sad. It is so heart-breaking. If I were in a situation like that, my family would help me. My church would help me. My friends outside of church would help me... I have family and friends all over the place, and if they could find a way to help me, I know without a doubt that they would do it. However they could help. I cannot imagine what it would be like to come from a family that does not love and support you. It is just really foreign to everything I have ever known.

As for her divorcing three times... that breaks my heart too. I am a huge believer that Love is a choice, not a feeling, and when we treat it like a feeling... that is where the problems begin. Love is patient and kind, it is selfless and humble, it doesn't envy... Love gives generously and puts others first.

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." (1 Corinthians 13)

Love forgives, protects, trusts...

There is no greater Love than to lay down your life for a friend. (John 15:13)

I cannot ~ and quite honestly, I don't want to ~ imagine life without Love. I have found the greatest Love ever in Jesus, and to fall in Love with Him is the best thing that anybody could ever do. It changes your life all around...

Through learning more of this girl's story, I am being given an opportunity, and I have a choice of what I am going to do with this opportunity. I have the opportunity to continue to get to know her better and to show her God's Love... teach her what it is like through the way I live my life. My choice is whether or not I will take advantage of the opportunity to share His Love with her. I so want to. I am praying for God's wisdom to know what to say to her and when to say it. We had a really good conversation today. And you know, she's ten years older than me, but we talk all the time at work, and I really enjoy talking with her. I believe God has given me this opportunity to befriend her so that, although she's that much older than me, I can teach her through what God has done and continues to do in my own life. I can be an example of God's Love for us all in my words, actions, friendships, etc. I am so excited about it all, as the semester goes on.

"Love's done something"... in my life, and I have this need to share it. We all have this need. Sometimes we just choose to ignore and silence it.

Pray for me, please, as I have this opportunity. I choose to take hold of it and go for it.

let the little children come...

I took this picture at our Awana registration bonfire about a month ago... (and then I had some fun with our new photo editor, aging it and all...) This is Megan (2 1/2 years old), holding her dog she's affectionately named Old Yeller.

Megan and I were standing by the door last Wednesday, watching the lightning and listening to the thunder. We were talking about the storm, and she was talking about as fast as she could. She is so hilarious, the way she talks so animatedly. :) She is sweet too. And then we started talking about her dogs...Megan is crazy about dogs, but she only has her stuffed animal dogs right now because of where they live in town; it isn't a good place to have a dog since they live on the main road through town. Anyway, we were talking about her dogs, and then Megan told me "When my daddy was a little girl, he had a dog named Jack." She was so serious. :) She is such a fun little girl.

Megan is in my 2-year-old class... at MOPS, and when I fill in for Sunday school teachers.

Anyway, I guess all of that had nothing to do with anything, but I had to share it. Just one of those little fun things... I have lots of stories of the kids Megan's age. :)

Like when I told Reagan I liked her shoes, that they were really cute, and she said, "Thanks. I got them at Target," so grown-up-like. :)

Or when Jenna got a lollipop stuck in her hair and she cried... not because it was stuck in her hair, but because she wanted to eat it and couldn't because it was on the back of her head.

Or when Aubrey's mom came to pick her up and Aubrey immediately exclaimed, "I had fun, Mommy!"

Or when we talked about Moses and the burning bush at MOPS one Tuesday and then I was in with the 2-year-olds for Sunday school the following weekend and our burning bush poster was still up on the wall; we were supposed to be talking about John the Baptist for our Sunday school lesson that day, but when the kids began telling me all about Moses and the bush, we went with Moses for our lesson instead. Why not go with what their attention was already on? I loved how they answered all my questions and pretty much told me what happened with Moses at the burning bush. I know a lot of Sunday school teachers who would have tried to get their attention switched over to John the Baptist for the lesson... and I'm not saying that is wrong and what I did was right. But I chose to just go with Moses over John. I wanted to make the most of their memories from MOPS about the burning bush, and I wanted to encourage them to listen, remember, and retell the lessons.

So yeah, I have lots of stories about the young kids. (Lots about some of the older ones too!) They are so sweet, and so good. And so fun. :)

see the beauty...

I am not really one to like getting up early in the morning... But I have to be at work at 8:00 on two mornings each week, and 9:00 on my other two mornings each week, so I have this opportunity to watch the sun rise as I drive to from my home to Piqua. Yes, that means I am getting up when it is dark outside... I'll live though. :)

The other day on the way to work/school, I watched the sun coming up, and I got to see these clouds in front of the sun... they made dull orange stripes across the sun's bright yellow-orange glow, and it just struck me how beautiful it was. I thought about how God never grows tired of creating these stripes across the the sun, He never gets bored with making a flower bloom, and He always loves making each snowflake. I love that.

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end." ~ Ecclesiastes 3:11

(This is a photo that I took last winter of the cattails in our yard.)

worth it all...

"you are Mine

you are Loved

you have always been thought of

when you hurt I feel it every time

you are Mine

you are Loved

and I'm never giving up

till I've dried all the tears you cry

long before you took a breath

I took your pain upon My chest

I knew your name

I heard you call

and it was worth it all

it was worth it all

You are worth it all..."

~ from "worth it all"... by ffh

I love how this song is written from God's perspective. We are His, and we are Loved. So Loved. We need to act like we are His though. Really believe it and live like it. This whole cd is written from His perspective ("Voice From Home" by FFH). A cry to us to believe and to come to Him, to let Him Love us.

this is where i see You... part 2

This is where I see You...

One of my camp girls from my cabin in July called me the other night, and it was the highlight of my day... or maybe the highlight of my whole weekend. :) I'd gotten a couple of letters from Julie, but we hadn't actually talked since July, so it had been a while. We talked about everything random... from school to staying up late to camp to whatever came to mind. I saw Him in that opportunity to talk with Julie. It was so fun to pick up the phone and recognize her voice before she even told me who she was.

I saw Him in our "Fishers of Men" sing-along last week. How many people would be embarrassed to sing a "little-kid song" like that? Hey, it was fun, and I think the pre-schoolers loved it that everybody else knew their song and sang it along with them. :)

I see Him in the beauty of His creation. I love when the seasons change and I get to see the leaves turn colors and fall from the trees. I love to watch the snow fall, and to look at the intricately beautiful design of each one. I love the smell of spring and the newness of the world... and I love the energy of summer.

It is so great to watch the ways God loves to show us Himself. It is often in the smallest things... maybe the things it is so easy to miss. But I think that so often it is those very small and seemingly unsignificant things that turn out to be the most important and significant. They are the things that teach me the most and that humble me the most.

Look at how God Loves us... see how lovely His creation is, and how much more He loves us than everything else we can see. His Love is so big... how can I even wrap my mind around it??

"how can i keep from singing Your praise

how can i ever say enough

how amazing is Your Love

how can i keep from shouting Your name

i know i am Loved by the King

and it makes my heart want to sing..."

~ "how can i keep from singing"... by chris tomlin

I will make you fishers of men...

Last Sunday, the pre-school kids all got up on stage and sang one of the Sunday school songs that we all learned when we were that age...

"I will make you fishers of men
fishers of men
fishers of men
I will make you fishers of men
if you follow Me

if you follow Me
if you follow Me
I will make you fishers of men
if you follow Me..."

They had hand motions to go with it (you know, acting like they are casting their fishing line...) and they were absolutely adorable. I love kids.

Anyway, after they sang, while the kids were still all assembled on the stage, the most incredible thing happened... The worship team came back up on stage, and sang along with the kids, leading the whole congregation in this Sunday school song. :) I so loved it. It was fun to sing along with the kids like that.

I work with pre-school age kids a lot anyway, but I know that the majority of the people in the sanctuary do not. The kids get up and sing, and everybody thinks they are just the cutest kids as they sing their little song and then go on their way, back to their classrooms. And I mean, they are cute. They are sweet. But why watch them from a distance when we can be involved in their lives and teach them about God and about Love? I think it is easy for people to watch and listen to the kids sing, or for people to even teach a pre-school class, and look down on the kids. It is usually very unintentional, but I still see it all the time. It is so easy to think of them as "just kids"... but God made them too. God Loves them just as much as he loves grown-ups. I think He so loves the way small children will befriend anybody and everybody, without looking at them judgmentally or critically. They are not going to shun someone because of dirty clothes or a handicap or whatever.

It can be really humbling to work with kids. It often puts me in situations where I am not really acting my age. But you know, there is nothing wrong with that. Just have fun with the kids. Be a good example to them. Be goofy. Sing their Sunday school songs with them. Watch a "little-kid" movie. Read them a book... over and over and over (and they definitely will ask that sometimes!) If I don't relate to the kids, then how am I going to teach them about God? How can I live like Him, how can I live Him to them? Jesus always made the little children welcome. He would never turn them away or say that He did't have time for them right then. Shouldn't I be just like Him? (Philippians 2; 1 John 2:5-6; Mark 10:14)

He will make us fishers of men... if we follow Him. Sometimes that means we are fishers of children. Little children. And that means getting on the floor and playing with them. It means speaking 2-year-old language. (I don't even know how many different 2-year-olds I have worked with, but they all have those words that you just have to know what they are saying to understand them... I've learned to speak Josh, and Stevie, and Lydia, and Megan, and Ethan, and Ellie, and Eli, etc...) :) Whatever it means to follow God in our specific situations, we must be willing to do that. And if we follow God... He will make us fishers of men. :)

let our worlds collide

"wrestle with the things i saw
stepping through the door
knowing things won't be the same
when i get back on the plane
i look into your eyes
and i feel like i know you
so far removed our lives
but so close inside
let our worlds collide

el salvador
el salvador
you'll never know what you have done
you'll never know what has begun
you left your mark on me
you left your mark on me

wrestle with the things i saw
stepping through the door
circumstances are beyond your control
i see your hands they touch my soul
this memory i'll always hold

i know more now than i have ever, ever known before
i learned more in one day than i have learned all years before
don't let my heart grow cold
for this i've seen and you have shown
beyond this space, this time
we must let our worlds collide..."

~ "el salvador"... phil joel

No, I haven't been to El Salvador. But I have been other places that have had this effect on me. I've been on six missions trips so far... to Dayton, Ohio... Mississauga, Canada... Sydney, Australia... Jackson, Kentucky... Chicago, Illinois... Managua, Nicaragua.... Each place and the people there had great impacts on my life and on my mindset, all in different ways.

In Dayton, one thing I learned about was the value of having a missions team. We were a team, brothers and sisters, on a mission to share with others. It was my first missions trip ever, and I know now that I had so much to learn. I still do, but I think that at that point I thought I had more figured out than I really did.

When we went to Mississauga, I learned to Love. I learned how to really fall in Love with Jesus and how to carry that Love over into my relationships with others... how to let it overflow into my life. I learned a lot about how a team works on that trip too, because our team was having some major problems; I was one of about three people who could talk to anybody on the whole team throughout the whole trip. In order to be effective, we have to let our lives reflect God and what He has done for us and in our lives. We have to be Jesus to others. Another thing I learned in Canada was to not complain. Up until then, I wouldn't say I complained about everything, but complaining was not something I really thought a lot about... sometimes I just did it though. In that humid heat... I made this decision to not complain anymore about humidity and heat. I'll acknowledge that, yes, it is hot and humid out, but I won't complain about it. Find something to be glad about. There is always, always something we can be thankful for. :) Always.

Syndey... what memories... wow, it is so hard to believe that we went there over three years ago!! In Sydney I learned about being willing to just jump in and do whatever I was called or asked to do. Don't question why God wants you to do something. Don't ever question the point. He will show you in His timing what the purpose was for it. It might be hard to trust... but do it anyway. Trust God that He knows what He is doing. He knows the plans He has for us. They are plans to prosper us, not to harm us. They are plans to give us hope, and to give us a future. (Jeremiah 29:11) God always, always knows what He is doing. I promise. He taught me a lot in Sydney about trusting Him, just jumping in and going for it... stepping out of my comfort zone. How much am I really trusting Him if I don't get outside the little box where I'm comfortable? He gave me the opportunity to play the piano a couple of times there... one of those times was for a church service. I didn't know most of the people there. But I wasn't nervous. I had to just trust God and go for it.

In Jackson... my first trip as a leader... I learned about the huge effect a simple smile can have on somebody. This sweet, sweet lady at the Happy Church, Margaret, taught me so much. Let me tell you about Margaret... she is a petite lady, maybe in her early 30's. She has an adorable daughter named Lori, who was two years old at that time. One of Margaret's arms is kind of shrivelled and unusable, and she just holds it close to her body and does everything she needs with her other arm. I don't know what happened to her arm; I don't know if it has always been that way or not. That doesn't matter though. She had a college degree, but she didn't have a good job because she had a little girl to watch and take care of (she didn't have relatives or anybody there to take care of her) and also couldn't do some things with her arm. I got to talk with Margaret a little here and there during our weekend trip to Jackson, and something I noticed about her is that she never complained. She was just so sweet and joyful. She always had a smile. She had situations in her life that were less than desirable, but she made the choice to have joy instead of complaining or blaming God for the way her life was. Then... right before my team and I left to drive home... Margaret made sure to get a minute to talk with me. She told me she loved my smile. I'd had an impact on her life through sharing a smile with her... And yet, her comment made me feel so unworthy, because I mean, what did I do for her? She is the one who inspired me, right? I guess it goes both ways. Just know that people are watching our choices and reactions; they watch our smiles. We can have such a great impact.

When we went to Chicago in June of 2005, we had a huge lack of communication between us and the people in charge of the ministry we were working with there. We ended up having misconceived expectations of what we were going there to do and of what it would be like working with their ministry. It is a really great ministry... There was just a lack of communication on both our parts. One of our other leaders and I went with the expectation of getting to actually work with the kids more than we ended up being able to. Donna and I were assigned the job of making lunch for about 50 - 60 kids each day for day camp, so we ended up in the kitchen most of the time. After both lunch shifts had eaten and we finally got everything cleaned up, we were able to go and actually spend some time with the kids and with our team, but we didn't have the opportunity to really get to know the Chicago kids like the rest of the team did. What did I learn from this? I learned to be flexible. Things don't always go the way we want them to. They often do not go as we plan. God's plans are better than ours though. His ways are higher than ours. (Isaiah 55:8-9) When things go differently from what we expect... make the most of it. Learn from it. Have fun. Neither of us expected to be in the kitchen all day, but it was fun to just have that time to talk about random things and get to know each other better. And we have stories to tell from our kitchen times now too.

And Managua... I don't think there are words in the English language to describe everything I learned there. The no-complaining commitment from Canada is still in effect. Yeah, it was definitely very hot and humid in Nicaragua!! When you are on your 3rd and 4th showers after spending just barely 24 hours in the country, that is pretty hot and humid. :) We made the best of it though. And you know, I never thought I would enjoy a cold shower. In Nicaragua we often chose cold showers over hot ones.... That is something you'll rarely find in the U.S.! Just before leaving for Nicaragua, I read this book by Ted Dekker called The Martyr's Song. It talked a lot about everyone being beautiful. Our human eyes may not see them that way, but we need to learn to see everyone as beautiful, because... God made everyone. We are all beautiful to Him. We need to see others as God sees them. At the first church service we went to, I saw a little girl (probably about 4 years old...) whose eyes were crossed, and I just felt this deep Love for her. It never would occur to me not to love her. God Loves her, and so do I. It just struck me as we worshipped with these people in Los Brasilles and I watched this little girl and others... it struck me how beautiful she is. Beauty is what we make it... If we see ourselves as beautiful, just as God sees us as beautiful... then others will learn to see us the same way. And those who can't learn to see us as God sees us... well, they don't have God's Love in their lives. The song I quoted by Phil Joel says "wrestle with the things I saw... knowing things won't be the same when I get back on the plane... let our worlds collide... you left your mark on me... I know more now... I learned more in one day than I have learned all years before..." This describes my experience in Nicaragua so well. Wrestling with the things I saw... the people living in the garbage dump, the children's home kids, the village kids and their living conditions, the joy in the Nica churches, the hospitality of the Nicas... No, things are not the same when you get back on the plane. How much I learned there... How great an impact God used it to make on my life and heart. Nicaragua and its people left their mark on me. Let our worlds collide. We need our worlds to collide.

I could go on and on about things I learned on each of these trips... from the people there, etc. But I think it is enough to say that they all have left their marks on me. God has used the people and circumstances in each place to grow me and work in my heart and in my life. I cannot even begin to describe how much He has grown me in the past six years as I have been involved with missions team. It is incredible to be a part of God working and to know that He is using us in His work, as well as growing us at the same time. I so love to watch Him work. "You left your mark on me... Let our worlds collide..."

the crocodile hunter... by ray comfort

The Crocodile Hunter- By Ray Comfort

It's not often that someone from down-under is the lead story on primetime TV. The fact that presidents from other countries die is a big deal, but they don't get to head the news. Some don't even get the tail. But when Stephen Robert Irwin was suddenly killed on September 4th, 2006, he was number one.

Steve Irwin was an Australian naturalist, wildlife expert, a well-known and colorful personality, and was best known for the television program "The Crocodile Hunter."

But his death didn't come as a shock to most who knew of him. How he died, did. Like many others who had watched him get up close and personal with dangerous animals, I thought it was just a matter of time until he would be mortally attacked by a crocodile or bitten by a poisonous snake. But that didn't happen. Instead, he was tragically stabbed through the heart by a stingray that was apparently only trying to defend itself. His distraught manager and close friend said that he "lived beyond the edge but seemed invincible." But none of us are invincible. Time will prove that to be true.

I become frustrated when I hear of the sudden unexpected death of any famous person. I want to grab this blind and unthinking world by the ear and shout "Hey, wake up. Death is a reality. It will come to you. You are not invincible. Please open your heart to the gospel." I want to seize the moment before the shock of another celebrity death wears off.

The Crocodile Hunter was passionate about the preservation of any endangered species--even if they were snakes and crocodiles. Perhaps you are a compassionate person and also have a deep concern about preserving animals. Then may I encourage you to do your part to preserve a forgotten endangered species--the dying human race. Doing this will not only make your life count for something in eternity, but it will also cater to you, if you are one who likes to live on the edge.

There is a forgotten and effective way to do this. It is something that Jesus did. It's also something the Apostle Paul, Peter, Stephen and John did. It's something that was done by Charles Spurgeon, George Whitefield and John Wesley. It's arguably scarier than jumping headlong out of a plane or messing with snakes and crocodiles. It's called "open air preaching."
Open air preaching is where you stand up in front of a God-hating world and preach His message of everlasting life. There's no applause. There's no pat on the back from an appreciative world. You probably won't make the lead on primetime news. Not even if you die doing it.

Steve Irwin left a huge and lasting legacy, and now that he's gone his words have become even more meaningful. Death tends to do that. He said, "I believe that education is all about being excited about something. Seeing passion and enthusiasm helps push an educational message." This is true. Of all the things a Christian should be passionate about, saving sinners from Hell has to be high on the priority list. So educate yourself on how to reach them, and then educate the world on how and why they need to be saved.

When Steve died he was described by the CEO of Queensland's Royal Society for Protection of Cruelty to Animals as a "modern-day Noah." We tend to forget that Noah was more than passionate about preserving endangered species. He did something about which the world rarely hears. Scripture calls him a "preacher of righteousness." He was an open air preacher. He faithfully pleaded with a sinful and violent world to get right with a just and holy God, and warned them that God was going to judge them in righteousness. They laughed at Noah and his ark then, and they laugh at Noah and his ark now. Despite the mountain of evidence, most deny that there was even a world-wide flood.

We are living in the days that Jesus called "the days of Noah," and as in the days of Noah there is violence throughout the earth and the imagination of men's hearts is continually evil. These are dark times, but like Noah, we must be faithful preachers of righteousness, and if demons hiss and sinners snarl--if the endangered species fights against us, we have a strong consolation. Jesus said, "Behold, I give to you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you."

So while you are still in the land of the living, live on the edge of eternity. Don't listen to your fears. Listen to your faith. Be passionate about reaching the lost. Learn how to show this world that they are in mortal danger. Convince them that they are not in a place to argue with God--that a drowning man should keep his mouth closed. And follow the footsteps of those who through faith "stopped the mouths of lions," and never forget that "the God of peace shall bruise Satan under your feet shortly."

http://www.livingwaters.com/columns_ray/

being an example...

As I write, I am sitting here listening to a new (as in the last couple of months...) band called Pink House. They're playing "Blessed Be Your Name" at the moment, practicing right behind me. Okay, so they are only ages 10, 12, and 13.... but they're really great. I am going to be making a website for them for my final project for my internet development class this semester, so the link will be going up on here when I get to that point.

Anyway, I love their joy. The joy in their music.. It is so great. So fun. So... yeah, they are a good new band. You'd not guess their ages just from hearing them! :)

They are, at this point, doing a lot of covering of songs. They're doing "Blessed Be Your Name" by Matt Redman, some Todd Proctor songs, "Big House" by Audio Adrenaline (only... they changed it. They made their own version of it called "Pink, Pink House").... and they are also actually writing some of their own songs. There's one in particular that I love. It has some of the best lyrics, and it is just really good. And "Blessed Be Your Name"... well, that is their classic song. The one they started with, practicing while I was in Nicaragua. I never heard them until Awana camp. Then they played it in church too.

So... watch for Pink House.... :) You know, they remind me of this verse that says not to let anyone ever look down on you because you're young, but to instead be an example to the world in how you live and talk... in your purity and in your love. (1 Timothy 4:12) I love that verse. So many people think that kids can't live up to their expectations. But they don't have to. They need to be an example. Be a good role model. Live so that people can look up to you ~ whether they are older or younger than you. That is my goal. I want my life to be worth looking up to.

being effective and productive...

I came across this passage the other day in reading my Bible...

"His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness. Through these He has given us His very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins." ~ 2 Peter 1:3-9

I know I'd read these verses before... but something about them struck me in a new way this time around....

See... God has given us everything we need to live for Him and to escape the corruption of the world. Because of this, we are told here that we need to "make every effort" to add goodness to our faith. Add knowledge to that goodness, self-control to knowledge, perseverance to our self-control. We need to add godliness to perseverance, brotherly kindness to godliness... and to brotherly kindness, we need to add love. Wow, that's a lot of characteristics, but... they all fit together. You cannot have love without all the other qualities. Love binds it all together. (Colossians 3:14) They overlap; we need to add ALL of them to our lives. Not just pick and choose what looks good for the moment or what fits into our plans.

We are to "possess these qualitites in increasing measure." So... we are supposed to grow in them. Keep growing in them, keep adding them to our lives. If we do this, they will keep us from "being ineffective and unproductive in our knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ." I love that. I don't want to be ineffective or unproductive. I want my life to make a difference. Our lives will be effective and productive when we are living as Christ lived. When we are growing in Him, growing in these characteristics, that is when we will be productive and effective for Him.

And if we don't have these qualities in our lives... if we are not growing in them constantly... then we are blind to the truth that we have been forgiven. I thought of the verse where Jesus said that those who have been forgiven of much love much, and those who haven't don't love much. When we forget that we've been forgiven... we are so blind.

If we are going to claim to belong to Jesus, then we need to live like it. (Philippians 2) We need to walk as Jesus walked... live as He lived. (1 John 2:5-6) When we are living like Him, we will be contagious...

"... maybe a greater thing will happen ~

maybe all will see

maybe our Love will catch like fire

as it burns through me..."

~ from "beautiful love"... the afters

this is where i see You...

"in an airplane
i take the window seat
a thousand feet,
and all i know shrinks in minutes
when the sky is gray i want to believe
that when the sun is hiding it still exists

in an airplane
are kings and common men
at the window side by side,
their view is now the same
some relax and rest their eyes
some sit on the edge
as we all break through the clouds, into the light of day

mountain tops peak through
this is where i see You
i've never seen a clearer blue
this is where i see You

leave behind your busy life
all you have is who you are
space like this is hard to find, so breathe it in
someone will say, 'where are you heading?'
and it might be the first time you ever thought about it

a baby's talking two rows behind me
the sun just set for the second time today
You seem to use the smallest things around me
to get me to this place"

~ "airplane"... bethany dillon

This is where I see You. Yeah... I've had some of those experiences this summer on planes. It always amazes me the ways in which God chooses to show us Himself. I don't want to ever let it stop amazing me. I want to always be in awe of who He is.

Have you ever stopped to think about where you see Him? Like Bethany says in this song, He seems to use the smallest things around us to get us to this place. At lunch today (which happened to be a picnic at church after the service...), Lydia was sitting to my left, and Eli was sitting just across the aisle on my right. They are both three years old, and I've had them both in my MOPS class, as well as in Sunday school, and besides that, I babysit Eli and his siblings. So they both know me pretty well. Anyway, as I was eating, something made me look over to where Lydia was sitting, and she had her hands up to her eyes, making a sort of binoculars with her fingers, and she was looking at me through them. Then a little while later, I looked up at Eli, and he was sneaking glances in my direction. Then he'd wave to me, and I'd wave to him, and we went back and forth for probably a full minute or two, one of us waving, and then the other. Lydia poked me with her snow cone straw, and Eli squinted through his eyes at me... I had such a fun lunch time. :) I love these kids.

Where have you seen God lately? In June, I saw Him every day in the eyes of the Nica children. I saw Him in the beauty of the palm trees and everything tropical. I saw God in the lovely clouds above the garbage dump where thousands of people live, digging for food and things to sell. It was as if He was saying to me that even in the midst of the garbage dump, even in the midst of the homeless people there, He is still God, and there is still beauty. I saw Him there. I saw Him as I watched the ground from the windows of ten different planes this summer, and as I watched the clouds move under and around us. I saw Him in the smile of my friend in May, when we had the opportunity to get together after six years, and again a couple of days ago in talking with him on the phone.

You know, I think sometimes we miss seeing God because we don't expect Him to turn up in certain places. I know I have been so surprised at some of the places where I have seen Him. A garbage dump where people live does not really seem like a very likely place to find God. But when we are listening to Him, when we are walking in step with Him (Galatians 5:25)... we're going to be more in tune with Him and see Him. He so loves to show us Himself, and He so often loves to use some crazy ways to show us and teach us about Him, and about who He really is.

This is where I see You...

the blessing of joy..

At work today, I was working with this lady who's in an algebra class. We were working on inequalities and all that fun stuff (do you sense the sarcasm? the "fun" stuff... haha. but I really don't mind helping with it) but in working with this lady, I noticed something. No matter what I tried to tell her or help her see and understand, she had an excuse. It was just like she was determined to complain and have a bad attitude about her homework. Yes, it is some really time-consuming and frustrating stuff. But... why not make the best of it? I fail to see the point of having a negative attitude... So maybe you don't enjoy math. I don't. It's just not my thing. I'd so much rather have my nose in a good book or have my fingers on the piano keys. That is just me. But even when we don't enjoy something, we can still have joy throughout it. When we have a negative attitude and just complain about everything we can dream of, it makes us so hard to get along with. People have an incredibly difficult time working with us, because we make it difficult.

My point here is not to criticize this lady who I was tutoring, but rather to find some good from the situation I had today. I had to find a way to still have a good attitude and be joyful and smile, even when she was so discouraging me. Just before working with her, I'd worked with a young guy, and he made every effort to listen and understand what I told him about the various kinds of problems. His whole mindset was completely opposite of the mindset the lady I was helping out had. When he didn't understand something... he would talk through it with me until he did understand, and he read each problem carefully. I enjoyed working with him, because he appreciated the help. They both technically came into the Learning Center for help with their math, but in reality, only the guy really wanted help.

After I got off of work, I got to talk for a few minutes with one of my dear friends... That would encourage me anytime, but since I knew that phone call was coming, it gave me something to really look forward to as I sat there trying to work with the difficult student. So anyway, I guess my point is... make the effort to have joy. Find a way to be a blessing to others. Who wants to be a discouragement for others? It is so much more fun to be a blessing, to be joyful.

Joy to you all.

i wish...

"for just a moment
i wish i could have been there
to see Your first step, hear Your very first word
tell me, did You ever fall and scrape Your knee?
did You know Your wounds would one day heal the world?
for just one moment
i wish i could have seen You growing
learning the ways of a carpenter's son
just a little boy gazing at the stars --
did You remember creating every one?
if You passed by, would i have seen a child or a King?
or would i have known?

i wish i could have been there
my only wish is to see You face to face
i wish i could have been there
just to see You, Jesus, face to face

for just a moment
i wish i could have been there
when You left Your footprints upon the waves
to walk along beside You, never look away
just Your whisper and the wind and sea obey
to see You feed the people
to feel the healing in Your touch

to hear You pray in the garden alone
laying down Your will with each tear
to see You walk that lonely road
willing to die for me

and in that moment
i know i should have been there
You took my cross and gave Your life

but You live again!
i wish is could have been there
i wish that i could have seen You rise again

i wish i could have been there
my only wish is to see You face to face
someday i'll be there, i'm gonna be there
i'll see Your face, Your mercy and grace
someday, someday
i'm gonna see You, Jesus
face to face"

~ "wish"... joy williams

How desperately do we wish that we could have been there? I love thinking about if I had had the opportunity to be there and watch as Jesus grew up. Wouldn't it have been the most incredible thing to be childhood friends with Him? This song has such beautiful poetry, yet such real instances. It takes what, for some, is far out of reach, or so we think, and brings it into what we can understand. Jesus put on the skin of a human so He could reach out to us. He wanted to show us His love... how much He loves us.

"[He], being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death— even death on a cross!" (Philippians 2:6-8)

He had everything, but He wanted to show us love, so He made Himself nothing... that is so humbling to me. And it makes me want even more to obey: "Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus..." (Philippians 2:5) No, it doesn't mean I'm going to be called to die for someone as He died for us. But it does mean that I need to make every effort to put others above myself. To put the interests of others ahead of my own. To be humble, and to be patient. To love others as Jesus loves them. (John 13:34) "By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." (John 13:35, ESV)

"Love's done something"...

"life was a roller coaster ride
pushin' me up, down, side to side
i could barely hold on, spinnin' out of control
i was lost, lost like a ship in the deep blue sea
like an angel of light You came to rescue me
You must have found something special in me

Your love's done something to me
changed my life completely
You're everything
the one and only thing that i need
every day i'm walking on sunshine
i am Yours and You're mine
tonight i feel like i'm on top of the world

as i soar through the starry sky across the galaxy
on the wings of Your love forever carrying me
i've only begun, there's so much more to see
lock me up, throw away the key
i'm a prisoner of love, but i never felt so free
You've given me more than i ever dreamed

i've always felt there had to be something more
worth livin' and dying for
now i know that something is You
this is how life was meant to be
just having You here with me
with You, just You, together forevermore

life was a roller coaster ride
pushin' me up, down, side to side
i could barely hold on spinnin' out of control"

~ "Love's done something"... casting pearls

I so love this song. It is so fun and bouncy, yet more than that, it has this great meaning... God's love has done something in my life, and yeah, there are some hard times. There are some really, incredibly hard times, but that does not mean that He is not here with me. He is always with me. His love won't leave me. I love the joy found in this song. His love has done something to me, changed my life so completely, turned it upside down. God's love is like that. It won't take away our hard times, but it will give us joy throughout the hard times. God's love gives me something to smile about when I don't have anything at all to smile about. He gives me the joy that is in my heart. This song says, "every day I'm walking on sunshine..." that is joy.

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again ~ Rejoice!" (Philippians 4:4)

Be glad. Find joy in today. God made today.

"This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it!" (Psalm 118:24)

He wants us to be glad and find joy in His creation. That is what I want to do... I want to be full of joy. Always. And really, I have every reason to be. God's love has done something in my life; it has given me joy. It's given me life... it's given me love.

what kind of faith...

In reading about Elijah recently, I was thinking about how much faith he must have had. To go in front of a huge crowd of people, dump tons of water on an altar, and then ask God to burn the offering... he had to really have faith that God would do it. I believe God could do it, but... I am disappointed to have to say that somehow I think I would not have been able to do what Elijah did. I so want to be able to do that though. I want to have that kind of faith. To stand up in front of those people like he did... they must have thought he was crazy. Not that I care what people think of me... because I really couldn't care less, but just to believe like that. That is what I want.

In James chapter 5, it tells about how Elijah prayed for it to not rain, and it didn't rain. Then it tells us that he prayed for God to send rain after three and a half years, and it rained.... "Elijah was a man just like us. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years. Again he prayed, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced its crops." (James 5:17-18) Every time I read these verses, I am reminded of our missions trip to Canada. One day when we were going to our park program, it was supposed to storm, and you could tell by looking at the sky that it could really start at any minute. We could not have our program if it stormed, so we prayed about it. We prayed that it would not rain. Well, all but one of us on my park program team prayed for it to not rain. One guy, Phil, prayed specifically for "sprinkles"... It did not storm on our program. It sprinkled though. And as our program was drawing to a close that afternoon, we could see the lightning starting in the distance and working its way toward us. We started to hear the thunder, and then... it began to rain. Not just sprinkle, but really rain hard, just as we finished up our program for the day and packed our stuff into the van.

That day has stuck with me for the four years since then... I always remember how we all prayed for it not to rain, but Phil prayed for sprinkles... and he got his sprinkles. God answers prayer. That was a direct answer. He doesn't always give us what we want in the way that we want it, but He always gives us what is best for us to have. He works everything together for the good of those who love Him. (Romans 8:28) So then... why can we not just trust Him? Why don't we have faith like Elijah? It doesn't take a lot... Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." (Matthew 17:20) I guess faith as small as a mustard seed is more than so many of us today have. I want some mustard seed faith. I want faith like Elijah.