undo me..

"i've been here before
now here i am again
standing at the door
praying You'll let me back in
to label me a prodigal would be
only scratching the surface
of who i've been known to be

turn me around, pick me up
undo what i've become
bring me back to the place
of forgiveness and grace
i need You, need Your help
i can't do this myself
You’re the only one who can undo
what i've become

i focused on the score
but i could never win
trying to ignore a life of hiding my sin
to label me a hypocrite would be
only scratching the surface
of who i've been known to be

make every step lead me back
to the sovereign way that You...

turn me around, pick me up
undo what i've become
bring me back to the place
of forgiveness and grace
i need You, need Your help
i can't do this myself
You're the only One who can undo
what i've become"

"undo".. by rush of fools

I heard this song on the radio the other day, and I started thinking about what it said as I listened to what they were singing... Don't we all have stuff like this in our lives? Don't we all have days like this? Something that we've done or thought and just kind of let it slip by, thinking that.. oh, it's not so bad. Or something that we think God could never work out for good, so we'd better just run from Him.

We start to run and pretty soon, we've run so far and for so long that we forget what started us running in the first place. We don't even know exactly how to get back. But.. to get back, all we have to do is let go. Just let God have our lives and trust Him to make us new.. trust Him to undo what we've become. Because we cannot do it on our own. He's the only One who can who can show us the grace we need.

There isn't any one particular thing in my life that came to my mind in thinking about this song, but rather just the idea as a whole. How easy it is to let things escalate and get out of hand until we are suddenly in over our heads and don't know what to do to fix things. "Let every step lead me back to the sovereign way that You turn me around, pick me up.. to the way that You bring me back to the place of forgiveness and grace.." We have to become broken and let go of it all, letting God use us in our weakness, in our brokenness, for His glory. We cannot fix our problems on our own, and in order for us to let God come and forgive us and give us His beautiful grace, we have to acknowledge and act upon that acknowledgement that we are really nothing without Him. If we don't become broken and let go like this.. then we're still full of our stupid, selfish pride, and we don't really want Him to make us new. It has to be our decision to let go and come back to Him.. He won't make us do it, but as soon as we turn toward Him and choose to let Him mold us, He is always there, welcoming us into His arms. ~ the story of the prodigal and his father..

faithful..

"yesterday, today and forever
You are the same
You never change
yesterday, today and forever
You are faithful
and we will trust You..."

~ "yesterday today & forever" by vicky beeching

I just realized how long it has been since I wrote..

I've been learning a lot as I keep seeking what God has for me. School started back up this past week, and with it, work too (since I work at my college...). One thing God has impressed on my heart repeatedly - both recently and not-so-recently - is that as much as I might get distracted and caught up in other things.. He is always faithful. He knows what He's doing and He knows what I need.

I love Hebrews 13:5-8 ~ "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.' So we say with confidence, 'The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?' Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." If you skip back from chapter 13 to chapter 11 in Hebrews, the entire chapter is about faith and about people God saw as faithful, trusting people who lived for Him. They trusted Him to keep His promises and they obeyed even when it did not look promising or like it could possibly work. Well, God does not work in the "possibly" realm, if that makes any sense. Anything and everything is possible with Him. We have to just trust Him.

So.. yeah.. skip back to Hebrews 11. Read about Abraham and Moses, read about Noah and Isaac and when Joshua led the march around Jericho... Read about Rahab. These people stumbled just like I do. Yet God saw them as people of great faith who needed to be mentioned as examples of faith in Him. After reading Hebrews 11... now go back and read those verses in Hebrews 13 again. Verses 5 through 8. God is never ever ever going to leave us. He never left the people He used Hebrews 11 to tell us about, and He is never going to leave us or let go of us. Consider the people in Hebrews 11 and take a look at their lives.. look at the ways God showed Himself to be their Helper. And then remember that He is the same always. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Always. He never changes. He so deserves our trust and our faith.

Maybe it is easy to look at Hebrews 11 and go "yeah, but I'm not as good as those people.." We can't compare ourselves to others, but if you are going to go by comparison... well, Abraham lied. Rahab was a prostitute. Moses killed a guy. Noah got drunk. I'm not saying these things are okay or that they were even excused for the people mentioned. But what I am saying is that we all make mistakes, and God chooses to use us still. He will bring good out of everything that happens if we Love Him. I promise. If God can use a murderer, don't you think He can use us all? Have you ever hated anyone? Jesus said that if you hate someone, it is the same as murdering them. (I think it is in Matthew.. didn't look it up for the reference yet though..) And yes, I am getting into the Way of the Master questions here.. But really think about it.. God is the same then and now and forever. He used them in such great ways. Read Hebrews 11. Go back and read the Old Testament accounts of the lives of these people. He chose to use them. He is the same today. He is going to use us too.

I have this feeling that even the people mentioned failed to notice some of the ways God was using them at the time. Somehow, looking back it always seems to be easier to see God's blessings and the ways He loves to work. But just let Him take captive your heart.

May my life be one unbroken gaze fixed upon Your beauty and Your grace, no other could ever be as beautiful or steal my heart away, because I am captivated by You, my Jesus.