back to school and making it count...

Tomorrow marks the end of my first week back to school... It seems so strange to be back in school again already, as if last semester had just ended. But my summer was packed full of trips and activities, and now it is time for school again.

I got a job in the Learning Center at school, and I get to tutor people who come in for help with their classes. I love to interact with others, and I love to be able to be an encouragement and a help, so I am really excited about it.

As for my classes, I only have one friend in one class who I already knew (I know her from church and from babysitting her kids), but I've gotten to talk with several others and am making some more new friends. That's always cool. I've made some friends with my job too... some of them are way different from me, and others aren't so different. There are a couple of people in particular who I'm working with who I think will be so encouraging and fun to work with. That is a really great thing to be able to tell on your first few days.

Awana starts back up next week, as well as my piano lessons. We're having our big-deal Awana bonfire this coming Sunday, where a lot of the kids come and register. And then, probably like next Friday, I am going to be starting teaching piano to a girl from church. The following Tuesday morning, our new MOPS-like program is starting. I am excited about that too, because I love my 2-year-olds and miss them when I'm not teaching them.

You know, I remember when I was really little, everybody would tell me that the older you get, the faster time flies by. It was one of those things that I heard all the time but never really believed simply because time seemed so abundant at that point. But... as I have grown up, I've learned the truth of what I was told then... time really does fly right past you, and... we've got to make the most of it. Our lives will be gone before we know it. They could end tomorrow, for all we know. I want mine to count, I want to make a difference for God. I want to have that abundant life that Jesus talks about in John 10:10. So... I cannot waste one minute. I want every minute, every second... I want all my life to be productive for Him. I want Him to tell me that I did a good job with what He gave me to do. Because... you know, He has things planned out that He wants me specifically to do. I want to obey Him with my life.

"like the sun swallowed up by the earth..."

"until You came
i was just the same
as everybody else
whoever saw the light and turned away

You love me now
You loved me then
and every now and again
You show me how it would be if i'd gone the other way

after all this time i've come to find my soul's fragility
but You've rectified my frailty by Your strength

it's like the sun swallowed up by the earth
like atomic bombs in reverse
as if a glass could contain the sea
that's the way You are in me
that's the way You are

now here i stand looking back
to the way things used to be
but i will never be alone again

You're with me
and now i see
what it means to me
to be a part of such a mystery

after all this time i've come to find my soul's fragility
but You've rectified my frailty by Your strength

it's like the sun swallowed up by the earth
like atomic bombs in reverse
as if a glass could contain the sea
that's the way You are to me
that's the way You are..."

~ "the way You are"... the afters

I so love this song... it describes so well the way God is and how He is so big. It tells about how He changes us and how He fills us... School's starting on Monday, and this semester is no different from any other, in that I want to have an impact. I want to not just leave an impression on the people there for a little while, but I want to really make an impact on the lives of the people I come in contact with. I want, when I walk into the school, for it to be like this song... just like God is for me... I want Him to be that through me too. Like the sun swallowed up by the earth. Like atomic bombs in reverse. As if a glass could contain the sea. I want what He is to me to be something uncontainable. I want to be the one that holds Him high, even when nobody else does. Throughout my last semester there, I had the opportunity to get to know a lot of the Campus Crusade students, and a lot of them were great, but at the same time... a lot did not live out what they claimed with their mouths. Actions speak louder than words. If we don't live what we say, then it is not real. See James 2; he has a lot to say about dead faith. I want to hold Him high and give Him praise, even when it might not be the popular thing to do. That is what I'm choosing to do. It's been my goal of each semester that I've been in school... but somehow it's a renewed goal this time. My goal is to not just share with my life and my actions and by what I do & don't say, but to go and initiate conversations in which I can share. I've gotten a lot out of the Way of the Master dvds, and in California a few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to put some feet to what I'd been hearing over and over and learning. The opportunities I had didn't really go as I'd planned, but it was still so great to go and share like that. That is a goal I have for this semester... hold me to it... please. Accountability is such a blessing.

"i want to be the one that holds You high
i want to be the one that gives You glory – only
i want to be the one that holds You high
i want to be the one that brings You praise"

~ "hold You high"... by the tree

"mercy in me"... todd agnew

"a poor man on the corner
i could give to You by buying him lunch
but i rarely think about it
‘cause i got a little but it’s not that much
and i pray 'Lord won’t You help me
give me a little bit more for myself'
and You say 'child won’t you let me
take all that you got and give you a little real wealth'

and i don’t know what You want
what You see in my life
and i don’t know what You mean
how You could be glorified
and i’m not too sure about this idea of sacrifice
what You mean by mercy, mercy in me
Your mercy in me

a young girl in an old house
three kids and another on the way
she’s in desperate need of some new clothes
but i keep my old ones and tell her i’ll pray for her
but Your heart breaks for those kids
and that child of a mom who’s one of Your own
when a few gifts and a little time is another crown
i could lay at the feet of Your throne"

"broken and beautiful"... mark schultz

"there’s a businessman, there’s a widowed wife
a smiling face with a shattered life
a teenage girl with a choice to make
it’s crowded here in church today
and the preacher says as the sermon ends
'please close your eyes, bow your heads
is there anyone in need of prayer,
oh Jesus wants to meet you here”
cause we all fall short, and we all have sinned
but when you let, God’s grace break in

it’s beautiful, beautiful
come as you are
surrender your heart
broken and beautiful

well he’d never been to church before
but he came today as a last resort
his world was crashing in
and he was suffocating in his sin
but tears rolled down as hope rushed in
he closed his eyes, raised his hands
worshipping the God who can
bring him back to life again

and it’s beautiful, beautiful
come as you are
surrender your heart
broken and beautiful, beautiful
come as you are
surrender your heart
broken and beautiful

cause there’s nothing more beautiful at all
than when His sons and daughters call, broken
hallelujah, hallelujah
come as you are hallelujah, hallelujah
come as you are

broken and beautiful, beautiful
come as you are
surrender your heart
broken and beautiful, beautiful
come as you are
surrender your heart
broken and beautiful
come as you are
broken and beautiful, beautiful
come as you are
surrender your heart
broken and beautiful
broken and beautiful
broken and beautiful
beautiful"

I was listening to this song the other day, and as I took in the words, I realized how much it fits the church today. Every situation mentioned in this song... there are those same people in my church. There's businessmen, there are widowed wives, there's a teenage girl with a choice to make.... It makes the song so personal. I hear God saying through it, "No matter what you've done, just come to Me as you are. A surrendered heart is all I want from you. I will take it and make you new and bring you back to life again." A surrendered heart, really, in all its brokenness, is so very beautiful.

when i fell in love...

I don't have a traditional "love story" like so many do... In 2002, I went on a missions trip to Mississauga, Canada (Toronto area) with our missions team from church. Shortly before leaving for Canada, I'd read this quote, "You can never, ever love too much." I thought it was a great quote, but I didn't realize just how true it was.

Throughout our week in Canada, we put on a "park program" (as we called it) each afternoon, telling Bible stories, doing little skits, making balloon animals, and just having fun with the kids there. Before our program started one day, this little boy named Shafka (it was a really culturally diverse neighborhood...) who was about 4, maybe 5, asked me if I'd play on the playground with him. I so considered answering him, "not right now." I mean, it was like 104 degrees out there, and SO humid! Who in their right mind would want to run around on the playground, playing with this little boy in this kind of weather?... Right? No. I discovered the error in the mindset and attitude I had at that moment. I had read that quote... "You can never, ever love too much." And even that week, I'd been reading in the Bible all about love. How we are supposed to love God and others... And then at that moment, with my answer of "maybe later, when it's cooler" on the tip of my tongue, everything I'd been reading came to my mind. I didn't think through it a lot, or stand and ponder the hypocrisy of the attitude I had had, but I instead I made a choice. I made this very deliberate choice to love. Because, you can never, ever love too much. So I played with Shafka. In the humid heat of that afternoon in late June/early July of 2002. We ran up and down the playground, and I pushed him on the swings... He told me he wanted to swing to the moon. I don't remember a whole lot about that day, but I do remember the joy and love of that afternoon.

I remember a little girl from our park program too... She was 3 1/2, and her name was Monika (sp?)... Her grandpa brought her to our program, and I remember that she knew only a few English words. She sat right beside me during the story and leaned over to me at different times during the afternoon, whispering in her language.

I remember another little girl... this one was a little older, maybe 5 or 6 years old. Her name was Ria. We had these gel pens that were for face/hand "painting" and when I asked Ria what she wanted on her hand, she told me "a Barbie doll." So... I drew her a Barbie doll. It didn't particularly look like one to me, but she was happy. On the way back to the college where we were staying, I told my team about it, and they were all like "wow, I would have just said, 'uh... can you pick something else?'"...

These stories stick in my memory, and when I think of that trip, they are what I remember most. I tell these stories now, not to praise myself for choosing to love and just go for it, regardless of how hot and humid it was out there, but I tell them because I love to remember, and because I want to encourage others to love. Love no matter what it means. Whatever form that love takes on. Maybe it is drawing a Barbie doll for a little girl, or pushing a young boy on the swing so he can reach for the moon. Maybe it is being a friend to someone who doesn't have one, maybe it is holding the door open for someone. Whatever it is... just love. The Bible says to love your neighbor as yourself. My youth pastor said once that your neighbor is anyone who is in need. That, really, is everybody. They might be in need of something as simple as a smile. Just love them. Whatever it takes and whatever it means. That is what I learned in Canada. To just let go and love. Through loving these kids, I learned what it really means to fall in love with Jesus, and I have thought so many times of how I left a part of my heart up in Mississauga. I had to learn to give my heart away. Because... you really can never, ever love too much.

be beautiful

The president of mtv was recently quote as saying "We don't entertain your children. We OWN your children." There's something so wrong with the world we're living in... It is so heartbreaking. Kids ~ and adults, too, for that matter ~ will listen to anybody... just to have something to believe in. A girl who's waited all her life just wanting somebody to tell her she is beautiful. Anybody just wanting to hear that they are good enough. They'll go to such great lengths to be a people-pleaser, tearing up their bodies or giving themselves away or doing anything they think will fulfill what they need.

You don't need to please others though. God loves you just the way you are. He made you beautiful, He made you good enough, He made you exactly the way He wants you.

It is a popular thought that to come to God you've got to change whatever you're doing, make yourself clean... but that is wrong. God wants us all to just come as we are. He wants to make a miracle of your life, He will change you from the inside out. It is so beautiful what He loves to do with our lives when we just come to Him and give our hearts to Him.

We can't listen to what the media tries to convince the world of. We need to just listen to God and choose to believe Him. Listen and believe as He says to you, "You are beautiful."

Be broken and surrendered to Him. That is more beautiful than anything else we can ever do.

"this day"... todd proctor

"this day is the day You have given
this day is the day i embrace
this moment awaits to be lived in
for moments too quickly will fade

never again will there be now
never a better time to say
i want to please You, show me how
i want to serve You with this day

this heart is a heart that is beating
to walk, to delight in Your ways
for passions of earth, they are fleeting
so i reach for the prize that remains

never again will there be now
never a better time to say
i want to please You, show me how
i want to serve You with this day

right here, right now i seek You
right here, right now receive You
right here, right now i bring You all of me..."

We have got to live our lives in the time we've been given. We have not been promised tomorrow... make the most of today. Make sure you're right with God and others, and seek His face always. Live your life to the fullest.

cars and contentment...

"Cars" was the movie I waited all summer long to see... last night I finally had the chance to go and see it, and I have to say that (aside from a few lines, etc. that should have been left out...) it is my favorite of all the movies I've seen this summer. Yes, it did have some stuff in it that really isn't typical of Pixar, which surprised me, although I'd read a review in World Magazine along those lines. But as a whole, I really enjoyed the movie.

The message of the movie, about taking the time to slow down and enjoy life, was great. And another major theme of it was that winning is not everything... living in the "fast lane" leaves you empty and thirsty for something more. I think there are so many people out there who could stand to learn the lessons that the little red racecar, Lightning McQueen, learned in this movie. I think it is something we could all stand to learn and relearn at some point in our lives. It is so easy to get caught up in living your life, and then realize that you're too busy for everything and everyone you truly enjoy.

I love the small-town feel found in Radiator Springs too. Where everybody knows everybody else, and where they will go out of their way to help each other out and try to be an encouragement. Maybe loving that small-town feel comes from growing up just outside of a small-town myself ever since I was about 9 1/2... But whatever the reason for my love of the country and small towns... sure, places like New York City and Chicago are fun to go and visit, just to get to see the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island. I love historical stuff like that... I had such a fun day learning about the immigrants who came through Ellis Island and getting to sit on the benches where they sat, and searching through records from the ships for my great-grandpa's name... But as far as living there, that is just not me. Not really. Not at this point in time, at least. I don't know where God will take me in my future... maybe even to a different country that I've never even been to yet. Maybe some place like China or Cambodia, for all I know. Maybe to a big city in Brazil. Maybe Chicago or New York. Only God knows. But I'm content with where He's placed me, with where He wants me at this point in my life. I'm finishing up school and have a job there, and I get to be involved with my church in so many ways, mostly with the kids there... because kids are my life. I am so content with them... Not content with where I am with God, because I want to be constantly growing more and more into who He wants me to be, but I'm content with what He gives me in my life. My family, my friends, my church, my home,... my God.

Why should I go looking all over the place, searching high and low for my heart's desire, when it's either in my own backyard or I never really lost it in the first place?

So anyway, I really, really loved the message of contentment that was portrayed in "Cars." I guess I got off on a little rabbit trail there for a minute... When I began writing, I wasn't quite sure where I was going with it all. I just sort of start writing and let it go... I like to just listen to whatever God puts in my heart that I need to write out.

"all that i can do"... by bethany dillon

"i ran around the room again
i ran outside, then i ran back in
and i just couldn’t get away from myself
i don’t care what tomorrow brings
i won’t back down from anything
i want to think that I was made for something else
i can’t wait anymore
i’m ready to reach
so i’m closing the door
behind me

all that i can do
is hold onto You
and to follow where You lead
where You’re leading me
all that i can do
is hold onto You
and let You bring me through
it’s all that i can do

there are days i think i don’t need You
there are days when i can’t see the truth
i need You to save me from the lies
because every thought that’s in my head
and even when i draw my next breath
You knew it all before there was time
i can’t wait anymore
i’m ready to reach
so i’m closing the door
behind me

when the waves begin to rise
and all my hope fails
in confidence i’ll close my eyes
trusting You’ll be there"

enjoy life... session with francis

*Logan Hall... boldness, willingness of babysitter... the big picture
*don't miss God's creation and how amazing it is
*trust God ~ He knows.
*God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him." ~ John Piper
*love God's laws ~ Psalm 119
*His laws lead to life
*stop making His laws look like something that is a pain ~ show the joy of following His laws
*cookie... eating to the glory of God
*laughter
*look at what God made & how fun it is to follow Him
*that same God is in love with us
*love to talk about Him
*enjoy Him
*Luke 10:... 17-20... came back filled with joy
*the joy of knowing your name's in the Book of Life
*Ephesians 2:8-9
*we should have joy more than anyone on earth because our names are there
*imagine the impact of everyone living joy
*whatever you do, do it all to the glory of God

... those are my notes from Monday night, during our session with Francis Chan.

Francis came in that night and he immediately began to tell the story of this girl from his church who began babysitting for a family... I don't remember exactly how it all fit together, all the details, but he told about how this young girl knew that this family didn't go to church and didn't know Jesus. So she began inviting them to church. They eventually came and then pretty soon were inviting their friends too. Both families all became followers of Christ. Then one day (the day of this session), the little boy in the second family fell off his bike and ended up having to go to the hospital. He was hurt pretty badly, and as he was in a coma, the doctors said that there was something else wrong that had been hidden in his brain before that, and the fall from his bike wasn't the only cause of it all. Throughout the next couple of days, Francis would give us updates on this little boy, Logan Hall, and by his last session with us, Logan was still living, but the doctors had said that even if he did wake up, he would never be like he had been before. His family was having a hard time with the whole thing, as is to be expected, but they were so full of joy and peace at the same time. At one point, his sister whispered in his ear that either way, if he lived or died, it was a win-win situation, because if he lived, he'd have more life to live, and if he died... he'd be with Jesus. That is a huge thing. I think that so often we tend to forget what it's all about.

The reason that little girl could say that was because of the boldness and willingness of the girl who was babysitting for their friends' family, because she invited them to church and the Hall family consequently got invited afterwards. She could never have known the impact she would make through being willing to let God work through her. She didn't know what the big picture was, and we still don't know what the true big picture is... it is even bigger than the whole thing with Logan.

Francis took a package of cookies, opened it, and began to eat one. With his mouth completely full, he described to us how it tasted and just how much he enjoyed eating it... he commented on how amazing God is... He could have made us to soak up our food out of the ground like a plant, but He chose to make us to eat, and to enjoy it. He commented the same way on laughing. He was like "What is a laugh??" He laughed in several different ways, and commented that it is really fun to laugh.

Living for God is fun. What ever made us stop seeing the fun in it?! What makes us look at God's laws as something we have to follow instead of a joy? We focus so much on what we cannot do, instead of what we can and get to do, and on the blessings God has given us... why complain? The world is so full of complaining, instead of joy, and if we just learned to live in His joy... look at how different life would be! We'd see that abundant life, life to the full, is right here in front of us, and we're just too busy complaining to see it. Who really wants to go through life always searching for something to complain about? Not me! I'm too busy having fun with the blessings of God... make the most of it. God wants us to enjoy life. That's why He's given us all the senses we have. It is why He made us like He did. Enjoy it.

duct tape... session five, shawn mcbride

*Genesis 3
*Satan wanted to get Eve to doubt God, then deny what God said, then disobey and do it her way
*She focused on what she couldn't do
*cake & duct tape
*Romans 8
*ladder

... My notes from Shawn McBride's session, Monday morning.
Shawn McBride always has some great illustrations to help get his point across.. this time he used the illustration of duct tape. When you first stick it to something, the tape is really sticky, but the more you peel is off and stick it on something else, the less sticky it becomes and it starts to not stick to anything as well. It gets dirt and stuff on it from everything you have stuck it to. It is the same way with ourselves. If you just go around and have 5 million boyfriends, you are going to have junk sticking to you, just like the tape. He was making a point about the fact that you should not get on the ladder (another illustration) that leads to more and more and compromises you. But I personally want to take it further than that...

There is nothing wrong with having a boyfriend or girlfriend, and I don't want to be misunderstood as saying that there is. But even if you keep your relationship completely God-honoring, if you have a boyfriend and then break up, then get another one and keep on with this cycle... sure, maybe you have still kept your life pure, but your heart is still getting torn up. I have personally never had a boyfriend, and I'm alright with that. I am alright with it because I know that God has something great planned for me, something that is better than anything I could ever dream up myself. When I someday do have one (provided God has that for me...), I really just want to only ever have one "boyfriend"... I wouldn't want to be that close to more than one guy. Maybe I'm weird... but that's okay. I'd rather be weird and know that I am following what God wants me to do. I cannot understand why people want to be that close to so many others... Lisa Velthouse commented that so many today are asking the wrong question.. they are asking "How far can I go?" when the question should really be "How much can I save?" That is the question I'm asking. How much do you want your future husband or wife to save for you?? Don't they deserve the same from you?

As Shawn said, so many are focusing on what they can't do, rather than what they can do. Focus on learning your heart, so that you can in turn eventually share your heart and learn to share somebody else's. Don't rush through your life. Take your time and make the most of every second. Learn to really love others deeply, from your heart. (1 Peter 1:22)

smell the flowers...

Unless it's storming really bad, if I have the choice between stopping in the car to get the mail or walking down our driveway to get it, I nearly always will choose to walk. I love walking down the driveway to get the mail. I love walking out there when it's the first day I can go without a jacket each spring, and I love it when it's the first day that I actually need one again in the fall. It is so beautiful to walk along the driveway and smell the rose of sharon bushes on either side as I walk to the road and back. It is just something nice and relaxing... don't rush it, just take your time. Enjoy the beauty of God's creation all around. I love to see the butterflies and the leaves... tomatoes and strawberries in the garden, a wildflower along the road... I love it when you can feel the breeze... Take the time to enjoy what God has given us. He's chosen to bless us with it. Let Him know that you love and enjoy it.

"shine"... by salvador

"i woke up to another day
another day to celebrate
Your beauty and your mystery
it’s more than any eye can see
i’m not the man i was before
with You, my life is so much more
break the chains and open doors
to a world i can't ignore

Lord let me shine
shine like the moon
a reflection of You
in all that i do
Lord let me be
a light for Your truth
Light of the world, i wanna be used
to shine for You

as simple as a passing smile
or listening a little while
to someone that's convinced
that they are in this all alone
here's my chance to share the news
to introduce the good that's You
here You go again, You never cease to blow my mind

You're the love that we all need
You lift us up to our feet
You hold the key to eternity
the King of Kings alive in me"

my hope is built on nothing less... session three, nick vujicic

*Isaiah 61
*Jerermiah 29:11
*Psalm 139
*John 9
*Isaiah 60
*Matthew 10:19
*"With God all things are possible."
*"Our hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness... on Christ the solid Rock I stand..."
*rise and shine in the circumstances where God has placed you
*hold on to the goals and dreams God has given you
*commitment then provision
*you influence people for good or bad
*John 3:16
*your mouth is powerful ~ you can either build or destroy someone
*hands & feet...
*God has called you to rise & shine
*trust Him.
*Psalm 37:4: "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."

... Those are my notes from listening to Nick Vujicic speak on July 23 at BNYC... Nick is this 23-year-old Aussie guy who was born without arms and legs. It was incredible to get to see him and how much he can do. You can get a lot out of seeing him and thinking... "wow, he doesn't even have arms and legs, what am I complaining about?" but that wasn't the point of his message. He focused more on the way we go about our lives and influencing others for God.

One comment he made that I loved was something about how God has used a guy without arms and legs to be His hands and feet. God has helped Nick to live in the circumstances he has and use those circumstances for God's glory. He mentioned that God has called us to rise and shine for Him. Shine like the moon and reflect Him, as Louie Giglio would put it. We just have to trust Him with our lives. Sometimes that is hard, but... it is so worth it.

Nick said he wanted every girl there to know that they are all beautiful. (for more on that... read Ted Dekker's book, The Martyr's Song...) They don't need to change who they are to please somebody else, because God made us who we are and gave us our dreams... When we delight our hearts in Him, He is going to give us the desires of our hearts. That is not to say that God is going to give us everything we ever thought we wanted or grant us wishes like Aladdin's genie, but He will change our hearts as we delight ourselves more and more in Him. He changes our hearts and consequently what our hearts really desire so that they reflect what He wants us to desire. The more we are delighted in Him, the more we are who He wants us to be. Use where He has placed you in your life for His glory, and use it to shine for Him.

the way of the Master... session two, ray comfort

There really isn't a whole lot to say about Ray Comfort's session... It was so fun to get to see him in person, rather than just on the dvds, but what he shared is not really something I can write a whole lot about. Get the Way of the Master dvds, and that pretty much covers what he said.

There is a quote he mentioned that I want to add though: "Have you no concern for others to be saved? ~ If not, then you're not saved yourself; be sure of that." ~ Charles Spurgeon

It is an interesting concept, and my first reaction is almost to think it isn't necessarily true. But then as I considered it... if you are truly a follower of Christ, and you know what is coming for you, and what is coming for those who are not followers of Christ, how could you not be concerned and want them to know Christ's love?

whose will for you are you following?... session one with francis chan

*Colossians 1:9 ~ "For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding."

*Colossians 1:13-14 ~ "For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins."
2 Thessalonians 1:6; Matthew 7:21; Matthew 7:13-14

*Make sure you're living to follow God, not others, living up to their expectations & being too popular

*Go against the popular way

*Whose will for you are you following?

*Deny your own life to pick up His cross for you

*Do you even want to really know God's will & desire for you? ~ do you trust Him enough to go for His will instead of your will? ~ remember who God is & who we are & how big He is

*Will you follow His way even when it's completely different from everyone else's ideas?

*Do whatever He wants you to do, don't wait for anything

*Ecclesiastes 5:1-7 ~ "Guard your steps when you go to the house of God. Go near to listen rather than to offer the sacrifice of fools, who do not know that they do wrong. Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few. As a dream comes when there are many cares, so the speech of a fool when there are many words. When you make a vow to God, do not delay in fulfilling it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow. It is better not to vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it. Do not let your mouth lead you into sin. And do not protest to the temple messenger, 'My vow was a mistake.' Why should God be angry at what you say and destroy the work of your hands? Much dreaming and many words are meaningless. Therefore stand in awe of God."

... Those are my notes from our opening session with Francis Chan at BNYC this year. I so love how he makes it all personal and applicable to our lives. He shared that earlier this year, he told his congregation in Simi Valley that he needed to step away from his position as pastor for a little while because as much as he loved being there, he needed to be sure that he was staying there to follow God. Maybe it sounds drastic, but he wanted to make sure that his life was on track with where God wanted him to be. He didn't want to stay there because it was what everyone else thought he should do. He wanted to do whatever God called him to do.

It makes me think of that song by Avalon... "I don't want to go somewhere if I know that You're not there, 'cause I know that me without You is a lie, and I don't want to walk that road, be a million miles from home, 'cause my heart needs to be where You are..." that is the best description of it that comes to my mind. Don't do something just because it seems to be the popular consensus. Really be listening to God and wanting to follow His will for your life, not somebody else's will for your life.

It is so easy to go a certain direction because it just seems like what everybody thinks you need to be doing, but that is not what following God really is. Do you really want to know what God's will and desire is for you... even when it is completely different and in the opposite direction of what everybody else tells you... do you want to know it even then??

We need to honestly mean what we are saying to God. Don't make a commitment just because it feels like what you should do. If you know you are just going to break it the next day, then God would rather have you not make the commitment at all than make it and break it. Nobody likes to be promised something and then have that promise broken. Why should God be any different and actually like to have promises made to Him broken? Make sure that you mean what you say, and that you keep looking to Him for His will... not to others. No matter what it might mean, His way is truly the best.

Francis had this great computer program that showed what the earth would look like from billions of light years away, and as he showed us the picture of the earth getting smaller and more obscure, as the Milky Way faded into so many other galaxies, he said... just look at how big God is. He made all of this, and still we stand on this tiny ball of dirt and water spinning somewhere in space and say "you know, I really think my way's better"... the absurdity of it is so great. What makes us even think that we could begin to know the better design for our lives?? Keep your priorities in line and follow God's will for your life.

"a better way"... by downhere

"i'm not alone,
i really believe
You never go,
You never leave
here and now,
You always stay
'I love you' could not be said
a better way

it's everything You've promised
there's no greater love than this
from prophets until today
a man laying down His life for His friends
Your sacrifice has spoken,
You gave everything
and 'I love you' could not be said
a better way

i am forgiven, i clearly see
it's why You came to do all you did for me
trading earth with heaven, You took my place
'I love you' could not be said
a better way

because You redeem,
i know what's to come
everything i could lose here,
You've already won
so You have my surrender,
with passion obey
'I love you' could not be said
a better way"

let's go to the movies...

This past Tuesday night, I went to the theater with my family and watched "Over the Hedge" and "RV"... we ran into some friends while we were there, and they knew somebody who worked at the theater, so in between the two movies, we got to go upstairs where they have the projectors and all. It was so cool to be able to see how the films are played and where they are stored up there, etc. A projector bulb costs about $700 to replace... (just a little something I learned up there...)

I think I've seen more movies in the theater and/or drive-in this past year or so than probably in the last 3-4 years combined! Not that there is usually that much worth going to see..

Anyway, I wasn't sure at first about "Over the Hedge" because I don't go for Shrek, and it's by the same people. But it ended up being pretty good. There was stuff (in both "Over the Hedge" and "RV") that could ~ and should ~ have been left out, but they were still both good, and they had excellent messages, which is not something you can say about so many movies these days. "Over the Hedge" was all about this raccoon who at first takes advantage of the other forest animals, tricking them into helping him collect food to pay off a big bear because of RJ's (the raccoon) selfishness and greed. He got most of them obsessed with all the "bigger" & "better" stuff that he introduced them to, giving them the impression that the grass is greener on the other side of the hedge. It ends up eventually that they learn to trust their family, and they learn to be more content with what they have. And RJ learns the value of having a family and what loyalty means.

"RV" had Kristen Chenowith in it... I got to see her last year at a Women of Faith conference, so it was cool to see her in a movie now. It started out with this little girl playing puppets with her daddy and then telling him that she's never going to get married because she wants to always stay with him. Then it jumps forward several years to when she's 15 with a bad attitude. Her whole family is constantly fighting. Through a series of events, they end up renting an rv and driving together to Colorado... fighting and complaining the whole way. They meet this other family, who homeschools, and is at first portrayed as somewhat eccentric and they keep trying to run away from them. By the end of the movie, though, they have come to enjoy the homeschool family's company, they've learned to appreciate and love each other and actually get along, and (I love this!!)... the kids are saying, "can we be homeschooled??"! :) I love how both of these movies show the value of a family and how they don't put it down like so many do now.

At one point toward the end of "RV," the one lady is describing her marriage to Kristen's character and she says, "We just became sort of business associates in our marriage, you know? Like... 'Did the plumber come? Can you take Cassie to school?'" And I love the look on Kristen's face as she looks at her "husband" and shakes her head. She says, "No... No, I don't know what you mean." It is so beautiful how they didn't let the romance fade or become obsolete between them.

"made to worship" by chris tomlin

"before the day, before the light
before the world revolved around the sun
God on high
stepped down into time
and wrote the story of His love for everyone
He has filled our hearts with wonder
so that we always remember

you and i are made to worship
you and i are called to love
you and i are forgiven and free
you and i embrace surrender
you and i choose to believe
you and i will see who we were meant to be

all we are, and all we have
is all a gift from God that we receive
brought to life
we open up our eyes
to see the majesty and glory of the King
He has filled our hearts with wonder
so that we always remember

even the rocks cry out
even the heavens shout
all the sound of His holy name
so let every voice sing out
let every knee bow down
He’s worthy of all our praise"

"captivated/deeply in love"

"in my life
You've heard me say i love You
how do i show You it's true
hear my heart
it longs for more of You
i'm falling deeply in love with You

You have stolen my heart
i'm captivated by You
never will You and i part
i'm falling deeply in love with You

You and i, together forever
nothing can stand in our way
my love for You grows stronger each new day
i'm falling deeply in love with ~

You have stolen my heart
i'm captivated by You
never will You and i part
i'm falling deeply in love with You"

... i wish i could post the author, but i don't know who it is. i love the song though; it is one that we took on our missions trip to Australia 3 years ago.