someone's searching..

"face lost in the crowd
feet wandering empty streets
voice crying out loud
heart aching with every beat

someone searching
searching for someone
everywhere and endlessly
wishing, waiting
could there be someone
searching for
someone searching

sould battered and bruised
pride wounded and left for dead
ears deaf to good news
eyes tear-drenched and sleepless red

oh i hear the cry
and i know the pain
can it be denied
that everyone has been
and will be someone searching

love standing alone
hands scarred by the nails of hate
hope suffering long
faith urging that it's not too late

someone searching
searching for someone
everywhere and endlessly
loving, longing
always there's someone
searching for someone
someone searching..."

~ by ginny owens... "someone searching"...

At work yesterday afternoon, a friend of mine and I were talking with a mutual friend that we work with, and somehow the conversation turned a little more personal than it started out as.. Our mutual friend/co-worker said that she's mean to people because she's tired of being nice. She said she cares too much and gets hurt every time, so she doesn't want to do it anymore. That just broke my heart. This girl's attitude and our conversation with her have been the topic of my thoughts and prayers so much since then. I'd occasionally seen her come to class crying before, when I didn't even know her.. but she is not one to be very open. Yesterday was something rare, that she actually shared that much with us. She's not one to let people get close to her like that.. which I find incredibly sad.

My whole way home from school/work, the radio was filled with songs like Third Day's "Cry Out to Jesus" and "If This World" by Jaci Velasquez.. songs that invite the lonely, encouraging them to cry out to Jesus and let Him Love them and hug them. Then later on, this song by Ginny Owens came to my mind, and I thought of how appropriate it is.. how much it applies here.

This girl is so in need. She needs to know that she's not alone.. I want to be friends with her, to let her know that she is Loved. By us in the LC, and more than that, she is Loved by God. It hurts me to know that she doesn't want friends because of her fear of getting hurt. Nobody should have that fear.

People are going to let us down.. that's just the way it is. We are imperfect people in an imperfect world. We can't be everything we were meant to be because we're sinful. That doesn't mean we shouldn't make the effort to be friendly and to have friends though. It makes it all just that more important. We need each other, you know.. we need to help each other and be there for each other.

While people we can see are always going to let us down, God is the opposite. He is never going to let us down. He will never, ever, ever leave us. I love the way the Amplified Bible says it in Hebrews 13:5. ~ "Let your character or moral disposition be free from love of money, including greed, avarice, lust, and craving for earthly possessions, and be satisfied with your present circumstances and with what you have; for He Himself has said, 'I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. I will not, I will not, I will not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let you down or relax My hold on you! Assuredly not!'" I remember one time in youth group, Pastor Brian was speaking on this passage, and he said it literally means "never, ever, ever will I leave you." Like "don't even think of it, because it is not going to happen." That has stuck with me ever since. I always think of it when I read or hear or think of that verse.

As long as she's looking for someone visible to satisfy her desires, she's not going to find it. She will be let down.. every time. That is just the way we are. Even when we don't mean to hurt people, sometimes we end up hurting them anyway. She doesn't know - or is running away from - what she truly needs. She is so in need of God to satisfy her and change her attitude and heart. I don't mean it in a critical way at all; I'm sharing what is so heavily on my heart right now.

It isn't often that she lets someone see that deep inside her heart.. she doesn't normally open up like she did in this conversation. I have just right about two more months with her here at work before we graduate in May. Pray with me, please, that God will give me [us] the opportunities we need to share with her the One she really needs who will never, ever, ever let her down. Pray that He will soften her heart and open her to Himself so she'll really listen and realize what she needs. Pray that God will give us the words to share with her, because we really can't do it on our own.. it will fail if we try. But in listening to Him and His words, to what He wants us to say, He will work through us.

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." ~ Hebrews 13:8