i can trust You..

"yes, i know that You have paved a path for me
yes, i know that You see what i do and don't need
but when it comes to the deepest things
i have a hard tiem relinquishing control
letting go

God, it hurts to give You what i must lay down
but when i let go, freedom's found
God, it hurts to give You what i've held so dear
because of Your love it's clear
i can trust You with this
i can trust You with me
i can trust You

Lord, i know that You are worthy of my trust
for You have shown me time and time again
You're faithful and yet
i'm so scared of letting go of this
afraid of what You might do with it
how could i forget who You are like this?

God, it hurts to give You what i must lay down
but when i let go, freedom's found
God, it hurts to give You what i've held so dear
because of Your love, it's clear
i can trust You with this
i can trust You with me
i can trust You

me forsaking
heart is breaking
i let go of what i've held so tight
freedom's mine now
for the taking
i move in faith, not by sight
let Your will be done

God, it hurts to give You what i must lay down
but when i let go, freedom's found
God, it hurts to give You what i've held so dear
because of Your love it's clear
i can trust You with this
i can trust You with me
i can trust You"

"i can trust You" - rebecca st. james

So... yeah... it is hard to trust sometimes. It really can hurt. A lot. Letting go of what I have held dear is never easy. But I have to trust. I choose to trust God in it all. And I know that through it all, He will make me stronger. I might not like the path that gets me there, but God knows what I need and what is best for me. He will provide for me. And even though I might not like the path so much sometimes... I know that in the end it will all work out for good, because I love God and want to serve Him with my life. "We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose." -Romans 8:28 (Amplified Bible) (For other versions/translations, click on the reference and choose a version.)

I don't know how it will all turn out. Not yet. But I do know that I can trust God with it. And I am choosing to do that. Yeah.. even when it is hard. I was listening to Rebecca St. James' "If I Had One Chance.." cd a couple of days ago (maybe yesterday) and then this morning I got this song in my head seemingly out of the blue. It fits though.. so perfectly. I had to include it because it is what is in my heart. "God, it hurts to give You what I must lay down, but when I let go, freedom's found... God, it hurts to give You what I've held so dear.. because of Your Love it's clear I can trust You with this... with me... I can trust You [with all my life]"...

To know that I can trust God, that He is worthy of all our trust, and yet choose not to trust Him would be hypocritical. It wouldn't be practicing what I preach. It would not be living what I say I believe. Truthfully, in light of this, I have no choice but to trust Him. Because of His great Love, though... I want to trust Him. It is hard to let go.. but it is what I need to do, and I know and trust that God will help me to do it.

"Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our Refuge." - Psalm 62:8 (NIV). I so love that verse... I have poured out my heart to God so much, and to know that He loves to hear my heart even though He already knows it all is so comforting. To know that He listens and is my Refuge, the place I can always go, the One who is always with me no matter what... it is so refreshing. And.. since He is always with me, I need to always be with Him too.. meaning I need to live my life so as to reflect Him to everybody. I need to live like He is here with me, not just say it. ~ and.. that means trusting Him in it all.

"I'm so scared of letting go of this, afraid of what You might do with it - how could I forget who You are like this?" How is it that every time I have to let go of something dear to me I seem to forget who God is?? He is still the "God who opens seas, every flower, even me"... (- Bethany Dillon, "All I Need") Look at what He has done - everything we read about in the Bible, and everything He has blessed us with now. He still does miracles today. I think we have so much less faith than people used to though and we fail to see the miracles that are in our everyday lives.

Anyway... I am choosing to trust God. Even though it is hard sometimes. And even though it hurts to let go. If I don't let it go, how can I sit here an expect God to do great things with it? I cannot hold onto something and wait for God to use it or me. I have to let go and trust.